I swear that one point in time I heard “That Ain’t your Beeswax” on Disney channel as a kid and thought it was the most hilarious thing ever to be said. As a result, I quoted that all the time when I was seven years old.
My name is Angela McChicken, here to talk to you about something that you may have been told before that it wasn’t your business—though I am almost certain no one has never said “ain’t your beeswax” to your face before. Kids are strange but interesting, and that is why I have dedicated my life to figuring out their cute little brains. I specialized in adolescence. With teen hood comes puberty. Puberty is such an interesting time for many as so many things are changing in our body both physically and mentally.
Being a 90’s kid, and only 90’s kids will remember, I owed the infamous American Girl Doll book on puberty and anything in between. It was many parents fail safe approach to talking about the birds and the bees and puberty without really having to do much. I love my parents and I learned a lot from their parenting styles.
I still see the value in this book, though I do not think that this book should be given without any explanation.
In an interview with faithful Latter-day Saints, they were asked about their beliefs on intimacy and how to teach it with their kids. In on video they said that there were far too many negative messages from the world about intimacy and too few positive messages from the gospel being shared about it.
In the District, a docuseries put out by the church to train missionaries in the early two thousands, there is a famously quoted episode where a missionary fails miserably at teaching a man named “Germain” the law of chastity. The Law of chastity is important because it teaches us that we are divine and.created of God in His own image. It teaches about the importance of maintain sexual purity in our thoughts and actions before and after marriage. It teaches that marriage is between a man and a woman legally and lawfully wedded. It teaches us that we should be comeplety faithful to our spouses in thoughts, words, and deeds. We must avoid pornography and its harmful effects on our mind and our spirituality. Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints also believe that sexual intimacy should be reserved for the bonds of marriage and that includes feelings, thoughts and physical manifestations.
Back to the District. Poor “Germain” is left to believe that he can’t even talk to girls before marriage. When he was taught the Law of Chastity, the missionaries simply said that we shouldn’t break the law of chastity but they did not explain what that entailed in fullness.
Why were these Elders and many parents today so afraid to talk about intimacy?
The world makes such a mockery of that which is sacred. IT is everywhere. It is in the media constantly. It is constantly sung about in popular songs on the radio and it lulls our sensitivity to the subject.
My father once tried really hard to embarrass all the youth, myself included during a 5th Sunday meeting. He famously said: “Sex is fun, but not until you are married.”
Gross dad.
But he was right, as parents often turn out to be.
Brad Wilcox has a famous speech on intimacy. This speech is called “Sex is like an apple.”
He explains that when we get married, God gives us the “apple”’ or the permission to have sexual relations and everything that comes with that. He explains that in the garden of Eden, Eve took the apple when she wasn’t supposed to. They were commanded to multiply and replenish the earth, but it simply wasn’t time for it yet.
Teaching children about intimacy can be daunting, but it really doesn’t have to be.
First, we must consider the age and maturity and especially the interests of our children.
Kids are naturally curious and they like to ask a lot of questions.
It is so much better that your children learn about intimacy in a home setting that is controlled and run by the spirit than in a secular or even a media setting.
IF you don’t start early to teach your children, you are not protecting them as you should be.
For really young kids, you can start by teaching the the proper anatomically correct terms when it comes to their body parts. Kids that are able to do so protect themselves from the possibility of sexual assault and abuse at a young age.
Another thing I think is extremely important to teach children is that there are no secrets in your house, only surprises. This terminology teaches kids that there is no dishonesty. A surprise is something that will be told, and it is okay if you “ruin” the surprise. A secret is dishonest. God does not like secrets and He does not ask us to do so. Even temple covenants are considered a surprise (a beautiful pleasant one) available to all who are ready and willing to receive them.
I have taught my dearest daughter Phileigh that our bodies are like a temple like it says in Corinthians. God created us to be unique. Just like no one can enter the temple without a reccomend, no one has access to our bodies without our permission.
Our talks on intimacy should be age appropriate, though I do think there is nothing wrong with keeping our lessons simple and easy to understand.
You must make the birds and the bees your children’s business or they will find out on their own in a way that you will have no control over. Sure, the will always have access to information outside of you, but you really should be their first line of defense.
Love your children by giving them knowledge.
Next time, join me for how we can motivate our children and the problem with bribes.
American Girls, Eds. “Abebooks.” By American Girls, Eds.: Good (1998) | SecondSale, Turtleback, 1 Jan. 1998, https://www.abebooks.com/Care-Keeping-Body-Book-Girls-American/31422628741/bd?cm_mmc=ggl-_-US_Shopp_Trade0to10-_-product_id&gclid=CjwKCAiAlp2fBhBPEiwA2Q10D5ILqkXxpkHyIY-DFlDHlAvGxOkgL1i48-ww24thGUgnLP82FxH1ihoC0REQAvD_BwE.
https://mormonarts.lib.byu.edu/works/sex-is-like-an-apple/
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